Wellbeing Benefits of Improving Your Marriage
Many studies have shown that a stable satisfying marriage creates a cocoon-like protection around the emotional-wellbeing of the partners. Spouses of stable marriages are much more likely to be happier and healthier and even live longer. On the other hand, couples experiencing continual conflict and distress is problematic for physical and mental health. Understanding what enhances marital quality and stability is a positive place to begin when wanting to learn how to improve your marriage.
Couples inevitably have their ups and downs, there’ll be good days and not so good days. When evaluating marital satisfaction, seeing the relationship through a wide lens may be more helpful than the alternative of narrowly focusing on momentary missteps and imperfections. Where a relationship has lost its spark or finds itself on shaky ground, there is a way forward. By turning attention to what is working for partners in satisfying and long-lasting marriages, you have a solution blueprint to strive after instead of remaining stuck or fixated on flaws in your relationship.
Learn from couples enjoying marital longevity that’s sustained by high satisfaction and stability. By applying their keys to a successful relationship, spouses can strengthen their own bond and benefit from more protective effects on their health and wellbeing. If you’re trudging along in a relationship everyday feeling in turmoil, unhappy and unfulfilled, it will soon start to take a toll on mental health. Change occurs through action. There has to be perseverance with real effort on the part of both partners. Good marriages never happen in a vacuum. They take hard work, and that’s necessary if you want to create a positive partnership and keep it moving in the right direction for the long-run.
6 Key Principles for a Healthier and Happier Marriage
Here are 6 Key principles that help underpin marital satisfaction and stability which you can begin putting into action today in pursuit of a stronger, healthier, and happier marriage:
#1. AVAILABLE
Make a conscious effort to be available for your partner. Schedule time to regularly spend quality time together. Respond caringly and support your partner as you sense their concerns and needs. Catch yourself from becoming self-centred and instead focus on being considerate of your partner. Your spouse is more likely to be there for you, when they know they can count on you to care and be there for them.
#2. APPRECIATE
Everyday, by your words and actions, be thankful for and appreciative of your partner. Continually look for opportunities to convey that you value your partner. Thoughtfully consider all the qualities in your spouse that you appreciate and be ready to share that appreciation often. Frequent small of acts of kindness can be positively impactful. Commitment to consistency of effort is what contributes to a transformative satisfying relationship.
#3. ACCOMODATE
The way we perceive our partner is a representation of multi-layered complexities. Your spouse is a unique individual. Their personality traits, upbringing experiences, and social and cultural influences, are just some of the factors that shape their individuality. It is often said that “opposites attract”. Expanding the capacity to accept and accommodate one another’s uniqueness, including strengths and vulnerabilities, enhances marriage-life’s stability and satisfaction.
#4. ADAPTIVE
Over the life-cycle of a marriage, couples can expect to face a broad range of forces that will bear down on the marital relationship bringing pressures, difficulties, and challenges. Financial struggles, health problems, work-stresses, and family-related interferences are just a few examples that might be encountered. In those darker times, couples who remain flexible and proactively adapt to change, are predisposed to far more favourably retaining strength, stability, and satisfaction in their marriage.
#5. COMMUNICATE
A big predictor of marriage satisfaction levels is communication. Constructive communication in which couples engage with each other openly, actively listen, seek clarity and validation, and can comfortably share thoughts and feelings, is associated with positive marital satisfaction. A pattern of destructive communication that is negative and emotionally charged, or escalatory or isolating, wedges spouses further and further apart. This kind of marital communication is a characteristic of unsatisfying marriages, leading to an increased susceptibility to separation and divorce. On the other hand, by achieving improvement in marital communication, relationship quality and stability is enhanced, elevating marriage satisfaction.
#6. PURPOSEFUL
Sustaining a satisfying marriage for the long-haul requires tenacity. Spouses motivated with a determined intent to find ways to work through setbacks and disappointments fortify their relationship and keep it on-course. By also believing the best about their partner they more easily can look past a spouse’s shortcomings and keep their marriage in an overall positive perspective. So, be purposeful in all the aspects that add quality, stability, and satisfaction, and then enjoy the better health and wellbeing benefits that come from a good marriage.
Building a life together as a couple can be a most rewarding and satisfying experience. Sure there’ll be rough patches, but that happens even in the best relationships. What counts is intentionally working at your relationship all the time. It is an everyday endeavour that requires tolerance, patience, and a lot of love, while continually keeping the focus on positive perspectives of the partnership.
So always make it a priority to preserve the stability of your relationship. Detect early any problems that aren’t being quickly resolved. If you need help to fix marital difficulties, don’t wait. Consider reaching out to a professional relationship counsellor who can draw upon decades of research and evidence-informed approaches that offer couples knowledge, skills, and resources for growing a more enriching, enduring, and happier marriage.
References:
Abreu-Afonso, J., Ramos, M. M., Queiroz-Garcia, I., & Leal, I. (2022). How Couple’s Relationship Lasts Over Time? A Model for Marital Satisfaction. Psychological Reports, 125(3), 1601–1627. https://doi.org/10.1177/00332941211000651Karney, B.R. (2010). Keeping Marriages Healthy, and Why It’s So Difficult. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/science/about/psa/2010/02/sci-briefLeth‐Nissen, A.B., Fentz, H.N., Trillingsgaard T.F.& Stadler, G. (2022) Randomized controlled trial of the Marriage Checkup: Stress outcomes, Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 10.1111/jmft.12620, 49, 1, (242-259
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ROHAN WATSON is a member of the Australian Counselling Association and a general member of the International Association of Applied Neuroscience. He holds graduate and post-graduate qualifications in Psychology, Education, and Counselling from Monash University and USQ, including a Master of Counselling (Advanced Practice) degree awarded with Distinction. Rohan is currently engaged in research for a PhD program with UniSC.
As a Psychotherapist, Counsellor and Mental Health Researcher, Rohan is dedicated to helping unlock the potential in people to live happier, healthier, and more purposeful. His Toowoomba & Darwin Counselling & Coaching practices support people from all walks and seasons of life.
Rohan has facilitated and delivered mental health programs across rural and remote Australia. He provides professional psychotherapy services to employees at all levels nationally through EAP services. Rohan is also a highly sought-after Relationship & Marriage Counselling specialist. Learn more.
